We’ve all been in a situation where a friend or family member has reached out asking for help developing their brand, formulating an idea, or executing a project. I've been in this uncomfortable situation countless times, so I'm here to throw in my two cents on how to navigate the muddy waters of working with friends and family.
Over the last couple years, I have been slowly trying to transition into the freelance world for a bit now. My first stab was right out of college; I didn't have the experience or expertise to get a grip on things. The second time, I worked with a co-worker's wife who wanted to build a wellness brand for what I'm sure was a multi-level marketing scheme. I was burned so badly on that one I stopped for a couple of years.
Once I finally took the leap of faith to leave corporate America and get out there and put my everything into freelance work, I was excited. I had a great network of support, and I was confident in my ability to produce great work. Do what I love, where I love, and crush life.
What brings me here to today was when a former peer of mine reached out and was excited to start their personal brand and wanted me to help. They asked to help build a proposal to share with sponsors about their story, brand, and where they want to go with it. I thought it was simple, write a proposal to flex my content and design muscles, make some quick cash, and be done, right?!
WRONG. Request after request kept coming in. I charged them a significantly lower price than what I would charge a standard client. I'm not sure if it was out of embarrassment of them knowing what I charge a client or whether to give them a discount because they are my friend. Honestly, it was probably both. I was just happy to help out and work on developing their brand.
Eventually I stopped timing my work; there were countless revisions because the concept was half baked, stabs were thrown my way, and I was the only one to blame.
I've done this in the past and have been scorched so many times. WHY do I keep doing this to myself? I work with my clients and always provide them with good work, and they keep coming back, so why was I feeling this way?
I am grateful to have a wonderful mentor to help me through these situations because it's hard for me to navigate my self-worth, and the value of the work I provide while building my business. Below are steps she's helped me develop to take in the future, and what I would recommend to any friend of mine when a peer, friend or family member asks to do work with them.
Yes, it's going to be uncomfortable, but they also need to realize you're a business as well. Here is what I learned in my attempt to work with friends and family:
Mentally prepare yourself
You're literally mixing business with pleasure. So you have to try and separate the two – the frustrations you come across are not with your friend - it's your client. You don't want to damage your friendship or relationship with this person or yourself over this.
It's okay if it's too much for both of you, have an open dialogue to bring it up and stop the partnership. It's not worth losing a friendship over.
Give a discount?
Tell them your hourly rate, but also tell them that because they are a friend, you will give them a friend a family discount.
By doing this, you are stating your value at the beginning. I don't know the psychology but, stating your base price lets them know you're a business, and you still need to make money. You're not in your basement doing this for fun. Maybe you are, but you and your work are valuable.
Decide what your time is worth and stick to your guns – this is a little bit of self-preservation too. If they don't want to continue after you give them your price, they’re probably not willing to invest that much into their idea and haven't fully thought it through.
Use a contract
This is hard. But you've got to CYA. It can create a weird dynamic like you don't trust them or something, but you do this with every other client, so why not with this one? It's just a more uncomfortable.
Not only will it set you up for success, but lets the person you're working with know this the real deal. Maybe it's respect? But you have yourself covered, and it gives them another out if they want it.
It also stops the countless back and forth of changes, give them one revision, and if they need more list the price of those revisions. I can't tell you how many times I've gone back and forth on changes, and it's always at the expense of my mental health.
My favorite tool for contracting, invoicing, time management is Bonsai.
Brief, Brief, Brief
Unless you are in the business of mind reading, you don't know what your friend is thinking. They can tell you want they want but, you need more details. Again, this is something you do for a typical client, why not your friend.
Ask questions
Ask for examples of other brands they like
Have them build a collage of what is inspiring them
List of their personal and business goals
By challenging your friend to think creatively, you're also getting them to formulate their idea in their head and on paper entirely. Help them think it through, dive deeper into their vision.
Manage Expectations
Of course, you want to support and help your friends. The project will probably require a bit more hand-holding and creative thinking but realize you're the expert in this field. You can help them elevate their idea and project to the next level. Sometimes, their idea of something might not be the greatest – but give them the support and options to steer them in the right direction.
Don't squash their dreams.
Stick to your guns
It's SO hard. If you're like me, you want to see your friends succeed, and you want to provide them with the best tools to do so, but not at the expense of your sanity.
There are times where I've just wanted to get it over with and have done revisions for free or showed them how to edit a post, edit it again, just create something new that is entirely different. Again, you're a business an agency in LA would charge 4x as much to add a period at the end of a sentence, YOU CAN DO IT TOO.
It's hard finding balance and confidence when starting your own business. I'm always struggling with my value and managing imposter syndrome. I'm sure in due time, the confidence in myself and my work will come. But I'm creating my value and worth and trying to help some people along the way.
After been burned countless times and watched my friends get burned in their business ventures by peers, and in the end we're all here to support each other. We have to maintain our value and sanity while doing so.
Find your network of support, if you don't have one email me. I'll help – but navigating friendships and work can be difficult sometimes. Reaching out to others who have done it can help you trudge through the murky waters.
Don't forget; you're fantastic.